All Photos by: Brooklyn Caroline Photography
As a couple planning your big day, one of the first and most exciting steps is choosing your wedding party. These are your closest friends and family who will stand beside you, support you, and share in your celebration. But being part of a wedding party comes with certain responsibilities and financial commitments, and it’s important to set expectations early so everyone knows what to expect. Below are some of the most common questions I receive from my couples and some answers that will hopefully help you. :)
What is Expected of the Wedding Party?
Your wedding party plays a special role in both the lead-up to your big day and the day itself. While these expectations can vary depending on your preferences, here are the typical responsibilities:
Attend and help organize big events, such as the engagement party, bridal shower, bachelor and bachelorette party, and rehearsal dinner.
Assist with dress shopping or suit shopping and fittings (if requested).
Purchase their attire (dress, suits, shoes, and accessories) and attend fittings.
Be present and punctual for all scheduled events, especially the rehearsal and ceremony
Offer emotional support—during the planning process as well as on the big day! Weddings can be overwhelming, and believe me when I say that you will be eternally grateful for a good sounding board and supportive friend.
Who Pays for What?
This is often one of the most sensitive and confusing aspects of wedding planning. Traditionally:
Wedding Party Attire – Bridesmaids and groomsmen pay for their own outfits (dresses, suits, shoes, and accessories). It’s important to be mindful of everyone’s budget when selecting attire.
Hair and Makeup – If you require professional hair and makeup services, you (the couple) can offer to cover the cost, or you can ask the wedding party to pay for their own. Many couples choose to gift this as a thank-you to their bridesmaids.
Pre-Wedding Events – Costs for events like the bachelor/bachelorette parties or showers are often split among the wedding party members. Discuss budgets early to avoid misunderstandings.
Travel and Accommodation – Wedding party members usually cover their own travel expenses and accommodations. However, if your wedding is a destination event, consider helping to offset costs where possible.
Is It Okay to Share Costs with Your Wedding Party? What if I can't afford to pay for everything for them?
Absolutely! Weddings can be expensive for everyone involved, and it’s perfectly acceptable to have an open and honest conversation about sharing costs. For example:
If you’ve chosen an expensive dress or suit, you could offer to cover part of the cost or provide accessories as a gift.
For destination weddings, consider negotiating discounted accommodations and sharing those savings with your wedding party.
If you expect your bridesmaids to have their hair and makeup professionally done, you could offer to pay a portion of the cost or cover one service.
The key is transparency. By being upfront about your expectations and budgets, you ensure that no one feels overwhelmed or resentful.
How to Keep Things Fair and Manage Expectations
Here are a few tips to ensure a smooth experience for your wedding party:
Be mindful of budgets: Not everyone has the same financial flexibility. Choose attire, events, and expectations that align with what your wedding party can afford.
Communicate early and often: Provide your wedding party with a timeline, expected costs, and key responsibilities as soon as possible.
Be grateful: Your wedding party is dedicating their time, energy, and money to support you. A simple thank-you goes a long way, and small gestures (like a thoughtful gift or covering a meal) can show your appreciation.
Offer options: Whether it’s attire, accommodations, or events, giving your wedding party choices allows them to participate without unnecessary stress.
At the end of the day, your wedding party is there to support and celebrate you. Being clear about expectations, budgets, and responsibilities will help keep everyone on the same page and ensure they feel honored—not burdened—to be part of your special day.
Remember, a happy and stress-free wedding party makes for a happy and stress-free couple!
Much Love,
Tam xo
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